I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
