just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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