would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You're like the curious george of whores
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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