remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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