I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
