Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Even my vagina gasped.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Randomize
