return my video game
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
