Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
