Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
