found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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