Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
