I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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