At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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