Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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