she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
one two three fourrrrnication!
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
