its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
