Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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