i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
