Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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