p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
