thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
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I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
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I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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