he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Randomize
