maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
