My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize