Its about making memories worth repressing
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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