dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Randomize
