why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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