How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
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You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
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He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize