Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
