btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
