Small penises have feelings too.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The uberlube is also flammable
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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