this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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