I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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