I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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