I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
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