if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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