he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
