Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
