i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
