scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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