We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm really into asian looking animals
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
