So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
