handjob tips. give me some.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
