I think I died a long time ago.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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