You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
