U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
