I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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