OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
