i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
