after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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