quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Randomize