Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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