Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
even my farts smell like vagina
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
