i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We don't watch enough power rangers
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
