hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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