I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
