I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
my liver is dry heaving
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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