u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
