I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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