Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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