She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
