Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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