I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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