That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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