I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
