fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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